A Different Angle On Failure & Why Things Are The Way They Are In Our Lives

I've been reading a lot of self-improvement books & articles lately and have really been enjoying the content, so I figured I'd gather some of my findings & reflect on them in my own words to share with you and how I feel they tie into trading. 

Since I've left the workforce and pursued entrepreneurship, some of the thoughts I'm about to share have begun to resonate much louder with me as I see them start to play out personally. 

Disclaimer: This is not an anti-establishment message telling you to go drop out of school. I just use this example as a vehicle to portray my logic here. It is just my take on one of the main reasons things are the way they are in our lives, and why our failures influence us negatively much more than they do positively. It's simply some thought provoking & controversial content for you to reflect on - something to think about if you're having issues in any aspect of your life, perhaps you've fallen into this type of behavior pattern I'm about to discuss. 

Here's an illustration that goes well with the topic today. 

http://zenpencils.com/comic/92-chris-guillebeau-11-ways-to-be-average/

Mistakes and failures are what you make them. They can be inherently good or inherently bad, depending on how you choose to receive them & move forward.

Have you ever noticed that some of the most wildly successful people in the world today all have a common trait? Bill Gates. Steve Jobs. Thomas Edison. Henry Ford. Walt Disney. Richard Branson. Ray Kroc. Carl Lindner. Andrew Carnegie. Just to name a few. What do all of these billionaires share?

A lack of formal schooling, and a uncanny ability & desire to break the mold of commonality.

Think about this. We are conditioned in school to not make mistakes and constantly follow rules. Everything is regimental, and you’re forced to follow the system more or less. Any mistakes or deviations and you are reprimanded with negative reinforcement. You are bombarded with a mentality of close-mindedness without even realizing it. You accept things for what they are at face value because you have no choice. Therefore in return, your capacity to seek out alternative ideas or paths to handle situations becomes repressed by default.

This will bleed into the rest of your life moving forward. It's not to say that formal schooling is bad at all. Just that if you let it, for a large majority of individuals - It supports & reinforces the act of you being submissive versus being proactive. 

The majority of us walk into work and are essentially told what to do on a daily basis. Right? This is nothing more than an extension of what we’ve known our entire lives up to this point coming up through the formal education system. You were rarely in a position where you had to think for yourself and be proactive – but rather immersed in a regimental repressive atmosphere most of the time. I think the formal education system is very flawed and needs major reconstruction in it's focal points & content delivery but that’s an entirely different discussion. I digress.  The point of this discussion is to shed light on why we so often perceive our shortcomings & failures in a negative light. When we are faced with failure, we often take the submissive route of "acceptance" versus the proactive route of "change it", because that is what has been ingrained in our subconscious since our earliest years.

Your Own Mistakes and Shortcomings:

Are they a burden on you? A point of stress & anxiety that you find yourself almost angry, to the point you want to either give up & quit, or just “accept them” for what they are? I think that’s the biggest issue for most – we choose to let our failures and shortcomings resonate as inherently “bad.” It’s the default setting in our brains if we aren’t conditioned to handle them otherwise. As soon as something doesn’t go as planned, we accept this as the new reality of the situation and that nothing more can be done to fix it.  I know you hear all the time that failure should be a motivating factor, and it should. However, most of the time it is the exact opposite. It acts as a deterrent. A motivation killer. Often times in the presence of failure, we shy away from the should-be stimulus response to work harder. Failure can bring on a form of depression even, to where we unknowingly enter a state of self-loathing, hoping that by ignoring the situation or just “not thinking about it anymore” that it will go away. Neglecting it in it’s entirely waiting for someone or something or to show up on our doorstep with a solution to fix the underlying issue.

How helpless and stupid does that sound? Yet I bet you’ve been guilty of it if you’re being honest with yourself. I know I have.

Is everyone affected by the “Formal Schooling Effect” we’ll call it for purposes of this discussion? Of course not. Is formal schooling inherently bad? Of course not. But like all things, it has positives and negatives, and I believe this negative effect of reinforcing “submissive” behavior is a huge problem & the unknowing source of many people’s difficulties to properly and effectively deal with their failures.

Next time you think “What’s wrong with me” or “Why can’t I do this” – the answer is highly likely: “Nothing.” Nothing is wrong with you. You’re simply a product of the environment you grew up in – and in order to make the kind of progress you’re looking for, you’re going to need to actively change that and the way you approach problem solving and thinking.

This natural, submissive behavior is toxic and debilitating. To truly reach a level of self-improvement & “change”, this needs to be eradicated completely. “Failure” is not a word in your dictionary anymore. You have to proactively reprogram yourself & the way you deal with confrontation and shortcomings. Call it a Roadblock. A setback.  A Challenge. A detour.  A motivator. An Experience. Knowledge. Use any of these words except failure, because that’s not what it is as long as you are still pursuing your goal. Success is largely measured by the amount of enthusiasm you are able to maintain in spite of the many roadblocks life throws at you along the way. 

I can personally say that in my trading, my most valuable assets & skill sets as a risk taker & risk manager are a direct result of serious, serious mistakes. I didn’t develop any of my good trading habits by reading a book about good trading habits and applying them. I developed my good trading habits by diving in head first and screwing up BADLY, encountering failure head on, and evoking extreme emotion & an innate desire to never experience those feelings again. You have to touch the stove before you realize its hot. That’s when the true learning takes place and real growth happens. 

This is a trial and error game – day trading. It just is. I see far too many people looking for blue skies and rainbows, the "perfect trading strategy," they think that since they watched a trading DVD they’re going to show up with their few thousand dollar account Day 1 and it’s going to be all fun and games to the top. It’s just not a reality. The sooner you can accept this, the sooner you can put your ego aside and accept being wrong, and the sooner you can understand that it’s a process every trader goes through. With that understanding, you can accept your failures & shortcomings in the game much more constructively, and rather than getting depressed and discouraged by them, you can use them as motivational fuel. It’s all about perspective. If your mindset is “Well I never fail at anything...I always pick things up quickly and this is total crap that I’m not making money trading yet...it’s so frustrating!!” then good luck. I can already promise you that you will never make it. Patience, humility, curiosity, responsibility and ambition are your best friends on this journey. Not haste, assumption, fast track expectations & volatile emotions.

Bill Gates. Steve Jobs. Thomas Edison. Henry Ford. Walt Disney. Richard Branson. Ray Kroc. Carl Lindner. Andrew Carnegie.

Do you think they picked up a book and said “Oh that’s how you do this? Sounds good I’ll start tomorrow” and were on the unobstructed road to becoming billionaires? Think again. The key ingredients were blood sweat & tears coupled with relentless dedication, and most important of all: a proactive approach of dealing with failure. An ability to remain enthusiastic & resilient in the face of many failures – without that, you are nothing. This is the same approach you’ll need to develop if you want to become a successful trader or a successful anything in life.